Five Ways You Know You're Not A Morning Person

I feel like there's a lot of hype around being a "morning person" at the moment, with bloggers a-plenty sharing their tips on how to become a morning person and how to get the most out of your morning and so on... But frankly, I'd rather spend my mornings in bed. Asleep. Here are five things which will probably be horrible familiar if you share my aversion to the am!

You have a pathological aversion to alarm clocks.
Setting your alarm each evening makes you cringe; you find yourself doing some mental maths and figuring out how many hours' sleep you'll get if you go to sleep right now, whilst simultaneously cursing whatever it is you have to get up for at such an ungodly hour anyway. As far as I'm concerned, any time before 8am is to be avoided at all costs, any time before 7am is not a real time, and any time before 6am should only be seen if you're going on holiday.
You don't remember your last shower.
It's not that you don't shower; it's just that you do it on autopilot, so you never really have any recollection of it. I mean, I'm pretty sure I washed my hair this morning... But I can't say I actually remember doing so.
You have been bodily dragged from your bed at least once.
My housemate at uni adopted a policy of coming into my room and stealing my duvet to make me get up. It was cruel but effective... Sometimes. Other times I just curled up into a ball and carried on sleeping, minus the duvet.

"It's early" is an excuse for pretty much anything.
Poured orange juice on your cereal? It's early! Can't find your keys? It's early! Said something out-of-character nice to your partner? It's early! This excuse is valid til at least 10am in my book and I'm not above using it beyond that point. It's definitely valid til dinnertime on Mondays!
You think Morning People are probably a different species, and treat them with extreme suspicion.
What's wrong with them? Why are they so cheerful when you're still struggling to remember which colour of traffic light means "go"? How are they functioning so adequately? It's a mystery! Never trust anyone who uses words of more than two syllables before 8am.

How do you feel about mornings? If you're a morning person I'd love to hear what you think of those of us with morning allergies! If you're not a morning person either, have you accepted it, or are you still valiantly battling to wake up at unnatural times and be unnervingly productive before lunch?

xo