Ah, the Empties post; a beauty blogger staple! But you gotta save up those empties if you want to write a post about them, which means hoarding empty shampoo bottles and foundation tubes for weeks or months. Wouldn't it be nice to finish your conditioner and just put the bottle in the recycling...?!
Well, maybe. I wouldn't know.
Use new make-up/skincare.
You know the feeling; you've just treated yourself to a new eyeshadow palette / lipstick / face mask, and you're dying to try it out. It's just begging to be swatched. But the light is no good for photos, and you cannot use it until you've taken photos of it for the blog. I've developed superhuman self-restraint when it comes to new make-up, but it still kills me... And I kind of wince when a friend buys something and immediately opens it without so much as Snapchatting it.
Eat food while it's still hot.
In a similar vein... We all know you haven't really been to Nando's unless you've Instagrammed it. But the Instagram photo has to be just right, even if that means your food is cold by the time you actually get to eat it. I guess there's something to be said for salads here... See also: forlorn cups of tea in flatlays.
Cross things out in their planner.
Or, you know, their BuJo if they're one of the cool kids. I wish I was one of the cool kids but I don't have the patience to actually set a bullet journal up. Sad times. Maybe I should just pay Gwennan to do one for me... But even then I'd never be able to change any plans or cross anything out because then it wouldn't look pretty in my Instagram photos and that's the whole point of a planner isn't it??
So apparently (I didn't know this!), you can have candles and trinket dishes just to use as candles and trinket dishes. They don't have to be props in flatlays. Who knew!? Similarly, some people have notebooks and just use them as notebooks. Oh, the novelty!
Overhaul their friends' skincare routines...
"Please don't tell me you actually just use make-up wipes to wash your face? You double-cleanse as well, right?" "What do you mean, you don't see how acid can be good for your skin?!" "OH GOD NO DON'T PUT SUDOCREM ON YOUR FACE!!!!"
...and their make-up bags.
The overwhelming temptation to tell them how much better their eyeshadow will last with a primer. The desperate desire to have them introduce a highlighter into their routine. And the certain knowledge that they just don't care. Because make-up is a necessity for them, not a hobby - something you've got to do to look presentable at work, not something you do even when you're not leaving the house because it's fun. Huh.
Keep up with the blogger dramaz.
Just kidding, I hate drama, but just lately it seems like it's been one thing after another on Twitter and frankly, half of us don't know whether we're coming or going with it all.
You know, without reading six different reviews and tweeting asking for opinions. Every so often I buy something in Boots that I've never heard anything about - it always feels kind of naughty. Like, what kind of blogger buys a foundation without at least doing a Twitter poll first!?
Have a weekend without having to drop everything for "the light".
Sometimes you make plans that don't involve blog things (fool). And often, you end up altering, postponing or straight-up cancelling those plans because ohmygosh the light is perfect for photos right now and, this being Britain, that might not happen again for the rest of the month.
Must. Photograph. All. The. Things.
Is there anything you'd add to my list? What do you wish you could do? Is there anything you miss from your pre-blogging days?
[*Okay, probably not all bloggers. Please don't take this post too seriously, it's only a bit of fun!]