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Friday, 9 September 2016

Ten Things Every Blogger Wishes They Could Do

A lot of people simply don't realise the hard work and sacrifices that go into being a blogger... It's not all PR samples, pumpkin spice lattes and red velvet macarons, you know! Here are ten (semi-serious) things that I'm pretty sure all* bloggers have wished they could do at one time or another... Please read this with your tongue firmly in your cheek, I'm not being serious!
Throw away finished products.
Ah, the Empties post; a beauty blogger staple! But you gotta save up those empties if you want to write a post about them, which means hoarding empty shampoo bottles and foundation tubes for weeks or months. Wouldn't it be nice to finish your conditioner and just put the bottle in the recycling...?!
Well, maybe. I wouldn't know.
Use new make-up/skincare.
You know the feeling; you've just treated yourself to a new eyeshadow palette / lipstick / face mask, and you're dying to try it out. It's just begging to be swatched. But the light is no good for photos, and you cannot use it until you've taken photos of it for the blog. I've developed superhuman self-restraint when it comes to new make-up, but it still kills me... And I kind of wince when a friend buys something and immediately opens it without so much as Snapchatting it.
Eat food while it's still hot.
In a similar vein... We all know you haven't really been to Nando's unless you've Instagrammed it. But the Instagram photo has to be just right, even if that means your food is cold by the time you actually get to eat it. I guess there's something to be said for salads here... See also: forlorn cups of tea in flatlays.
Cross things out in their planner.
Or, you know, their BuJo if they're one of the cool kids. I wish I was one of the cool kids but I don't have the patience to actually set a bullet journal up. Sad times. Maybe I should just pay Gwennan to do one for me... But even then I'd never be able to change any plans or cross anything out because then it wouldn't look pretty in my Instagram photos and that's the whole point of a planner isn't it??
Buy homewares and use them as homewares.
So apparently (I didn't know this!), you can have candles and trinket dishes just to use as candles and trinket dishes. They don't have to be props in flatlays. Who knew!? Similarly, some people have notebooks and just use them as notebooks. Oh, the novelty!
Overhaul their friends' skincare routines...
"Please don't tell me you actually just use make-up wipes to wash your face? You double-cleanse as well, right?" "What do you mean, you don't see how acid can be good for your skin?!" "OH GOD NO DON'T PUT SUDOCREM ON YOUR FACE!!!!"
...and their make-up bags.
The overwhelming temptation to tell them how much better their eyeshadow will last with a primer. The desperate desire to have them introduce a highlighter into their routine. And the certain knowledge that they just don't care. Because make-up is a necessity for them, not a hobby - something you've got to do to look presentable at work, not something you do even when you're not leaving the house because it's fun. Huh.
Keep up with the blogger dramaz.
Just kidding, I hate drama, but just lately it seems like it's been one thing after another on Twitter and frankly, half of us don't know whether we're coming or going with it all.
Just buy something.
You know, without reading six different reviews and tweeting asking for opinions. Every so often I buy something in Boots that I've never heard anything about - it always feels kind of naughty. Like, what kind of blogger buys a foundation without at least doing a Twitter poll first!?
Have a weekend without having to drop everything for "the light".
Sometimes you make plans that don't involve blog things (fool). And often, you end up altering, postponing or straight-up cancelling those plans because ohmygosh the light is perfect for photos right now and, this being Britain, that might not happen again for the rest of the month.
Must. Photograph. All. The. Things.

Is there anything you'd add to my list? What do you wish you could do? Is there anything you miss from your pre-blogging days?

[*Okay, probably not all bloggers. Please don't take this post too seriously, it's only a bit of fun!]


  1. I'm so guilty of all of these! I've just bought some studio lights so luckily I'm not going to be running round like a headless chicken this winter chasing the decent hour of light!

    Kirstie | Behind The Scent

  2. Omg this made mt laugh so much!! I have beauty blogger friends and I was thinking of them throughout this (espesh the 'just make a purchase for yourself' point, everytime we go shopping I'm like 'ya srsly going to spend £38 on a makeup brush??' n they just give me the 'it's-for-the-blog' eyes so I shutup)
    For my blog I don't review products but I always think 'I wish I could watch/read/do this without thinking about the feminist undertone that I'll blog about' lol the struggles we face eh?
    P.S. love keeping up the the dramaz, even if we're being sarcastic, we're also kind of not.
    Love this post tho b!! xo

  3. Id love hot food, not worrying about having to write a post when all I want to do is veg and constantly thinking promotion, promotion, promotion!

  4. lol this made me laugh, its so true!! love it lol

    Missy xo


  5. This is too true! The swatching one got me. And the empties! I think the worst is when I throw something out without thinking and later having to fish it out because I need it for the empties post!

  6. This post really did make me giggle, Jess! I love it, and I think everyone can relate to at least 3 of the things that you have mentioned, including myself!

    Jade x | www.simplyjadey.co.uk

  7. Hahah this is so true - I have a shelf that everything goes onto before it's photographed and I so wish I could just use it the moment it arrives! x

  8. I hear you sister, especially with the cold food and in my case I have empty food packets lying around for when I need to glean the info from them!

  9. I'm not a beauty blogger, but I do write about men's toiletries and skincare so I can relate to a lot of this. The one thing I'd add: You amass a staggering amount of photographic and vlogging equipment!

  10. This is the best blog post! Oh I how I would like to just eat my food without having to take a million photos, snapchat, tweet and instagram it first! I have so much make-up right now that I want to use but I need to photograph first! haha! xo


  11. The food one made me giggle, I once remember my hand going over for a slice of pizza as a million camera flashes went off.

  12. Man, working shifts means I miss ALL of the drama. I'd really like to know what some twitter references are talking about!

    Nicola // pink-confetti.co.uk

  13. I recently started a BuJo and oh my goodness, it's the best thing. I'm not a beauty blogger but I do have to take photos before I open anything that I'm reviewing lol.

  14. Girl this made me laugh so much, SUCH a good post! Eat food whilst it's hot and buy homeware for homeware had me in tears, that is literally my life :') :') Thanks for the cheeky mention to pal, I'll happily make you a BuJo and I'll do tick boxes so you don't have to cross anything off ;) Loooooved it xxx


    1. BUT WHAT IF PLANS CHANGE???? Thanks for the offer though you babe xxxxx

  15. I laughed when I read the part about superhuman restraint when it comes to makeup! I've become the very definition of a beauty blogger and I tend to refrain from opening anything until I can take a picture of it. I'm deathly afraid of getting powdery fingerprints all over it before a picture can be snapped in the makeup's most untouched form hahah

    xx Heather || stormywheather.com

  16. This made me laugh so much. Definitely guilty of forcing everybody to eat cold food, homeware that's only used as props, telling my bf off for actually lighting a candle (grrrr), empty expensive notebooks.... Ah well, we're all in this together 😀

    Maya | londondamsel.co.uk

  17. Such a true post! my non-blogger friends just don't get it.. think the worst ones are not being able to try new makeup out because you haven't taken a pic and i have a pile of empty products in my room so it makes my room look messy but i can't throw them out before i do a post


  18. Eat food while it's hot! Haha love it! xo krista @ http://kristaaoki.com

  19. Omg, I totally hate waiting to take pics before using products...lol! Great post!!



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